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Back to School, fools!

I was a jackass student that was convinced of my intellectual superiority over my teachers, but a recent trip down memory lane has made me realize, maybe they were all smarter than I originally gave them credit for? I came across some old report cards of mine from high school and was shocked that the comments made by teachers were really quite accurate with their assessments of my work ethic and attention to details. Who knew that they were all able to look ahead into the mediocre future I was about to embark on? In honor of the Back to School season I'd like to give a big shoutout to these observant educators.


Mrs. C that said "Tricia is not handing in homework and is not putting forth the effort that is expected in this course". My professional career is EXACTLY like this. I continue to neglect to complete reports in a timely manner and to put any REAL effort into my job. In a strange twist of irony, my final grade is the exact same number as my current annual salary! 28 years later, I continue to keep expectations and my salary quite low overall. How very astute of you Mrs. C, to notice that about me at such a tender age.


Mr. W understands me on a cosmic level because he said "Work needs to be of a more consistent manner. Bare down the last 2 months and a B is not impossible" This is SO totally me! One day I am organized, full of energy and can accomplish anything I put my mind to, then the next day I find it overwhelming to just brush my teeth. One day I will eat well, exercise and drink plenty of water. the next day I will eat ice cream for dinner after being in bed for 18 hours straight. I never did bear down and earn that B. If Mr. W had spoke to Mrs. C, she could have told him it wasn't going to happen. I appreciate Mr. W's faith in me but mock him for his foolishness at the same time. It's adorable.


Mr. D is a man of few words. He simply stated "Satisfactory work" which really says it all. Yes, eventually I get the job done. It is outstanding? No. It is over and above expectations. No, but was love and care taken in it's execution? Also no, BUT the outcome satisfies the need so why get all fancy? The job was done. Why add bells and whistles? I am often inspired to do the absolute BARE minimum whenever possible.


Not all of my teachers saw me as untapped potential. Some even liked having me in their class! Mr. M said "Participates with interest and enthusiasm in all aspects of course." We have reason to believe that Mr. M was often drunk on the job and that may be why he tolerated my shenanigans. Regardless of his lack of sobriety I do love a nice compliment and he gave me an A grade! *Blushes then does a sashay*


My favorite of all of the teacher comments comes from Mr. H. His class was the only class that I took seriously. My homework was always completed. I was attentive in every class. I participated and behaved. He wrote "Tricia, your sense of humour, energy and quick smile will be missed. Thanks for so many great memories. Good luck. Don't forget to visit!" I received an A in his class and won the end of the year Award of Excellence in this subject for my grade. Mr. H is absolutely right! Despite my lack of motivation and zero attention to details, I AM still a frickin' DELIGHT to be with 28 years later!


I can now see with the clarity that comes with age and experience, that the most important thing I learned in high school wasn't math, history, languages or Science. My most valuable lesson was you don't need to know facts if you are charming and funny. If people like you, and you make them laugh, they will forgive you for not turning in assignments, or not following through on a task. Bedazzle them with silly antics to distract them from the fact that you don't really know what you are doing! This method requires little effort but is still rewarding. With time and practice, you too can become an underachieving goof ball too! The key is to keep everyone's expectations of you low. Now go forth, dear Cult members and slack the heck off!


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