I was playing tag and running around with the neighbor kids in my backyard. I tripped over a toy and landed face first onto a stool that was upside down. My nostril hit one of the legs, splitting the inside of my nose wide open. There I was, walking around with a stool leg stuck in my nostril (Ok...it didn't stick in my nose but that would have been super cool). The lesson: Any and all stools must now be stored with their legs on the ground.
I was playing baseball in my backyard with the neighbor kids. I took the position of back catcher. This was my very first time in this role and wanted to be successful so I made sure I kept nice and close to the batter. I was so close that when the pitch came, the batter swung and hit me on the forehead with the bat instead of the ball and the ball (that the batter missed) hit me directly in the mouth. I was knocked down hard and suffered a fat lump on my forehead and one tooth was knocked out. The lesson: Stay the heck away from sports, my backyard and those rotten neighbor kids. Pain and destruction is all that awaits me out there.
Christmas 1999, I attended my company Christmas party with my new boyfriend. It's a long story but let's just say Tricia drank too much and got stupid. As we were leaving, I got sick (yes, vomit) on the gravel parking lot. As I bent over, barfing, i passed out. I fell forward, landing on my face, and continued to slide forward, on my face, in the gravel. I gave myself horrifying road rash all along my left side. Both eyes were black. There was no hiding this. For several weeks, during the healing process, I was a hotly debated topic. Does she play hockey? Car accident? Domestic abuse victim? I tried saying it happened while I was saving orphaned kittens from a fire although I'm not sure how many people believed me. I honestly didn't care what people thought as long as they didn't know the truth. The lesson: Rumors and your reputation are like ghosts. Weather they are real or not, they can still haunt you.
In the early 2000s, after a bout of pneumonia, I got Bells Palsy on the right side of my face. I drooled non stop and slurred like a drunk when I spoke out of the side of my face. During the recovery period, one of my bottom, front teeth broke in half. The missing tooth combined with the paralysis gave me the look of the villain in a ripper film. Children were terrified of me and I honestly don't blame them. The lesson: Nobody asks you to babysit when you look like an axe murderer and always carry tissues in case you are drooling.
February 2018, while walking to my car in a dark parking lot I tripped and fell forward on my face. Fortunately...my nose broke the fall. I had plastic, chunky eyeglasses on. The fall cased them to snap on the bridge. The 2 broken sides were pushed into my skin cutting me pretty bad. Bad enough where a trip to Emergency, several stitches and a tetanus shot were required. I had the nasty cut on my nose, both eyes went black and I was swollen and hideous. The lesson: Gravity is a cruel bitch. Watch where you are walking, Tricia
August 2019, a tumor developed on the salivary gland under my left ear that needed to be removed. It wasn't cancerous but it would continue to grow and be troublesome. Surgery went well but the procedure is invasive and leaves a huge scar. My incision starts at the top of my ear, follows the curve of my face down all the way to under my jaw. Thirty four stitches in total to close me back up again. I came home wrapped like a mummy in bandages, and when they were removed, I found that I was bruised and swollen so badly that I looked like I had just gone 9 rounds with Mike Tyson. The lesson: Don't go 9 rounds with Mike Tyson. You look and feel like shit afterwards!!
June 2020, I developed a condition known as Ramsay Hunt Syndrome. This malady happens when an outbreak of shingles occurs in a person's ear (in my case my throat as well). The virus attaches to the facial nerves which triggers Bells Palsy, (YES! This is the SECOND round of Bells Palsy) which is facial paralysis on the side of the infection. Shingles on their own are awful. Itchy, ghastly blisters form along with horrible pain, fever and vomiting. These things are bad enough but the facial paralysis made everything 110% worse. My left side facial muscles couldn't move. My face sagged. I could only drink beverages with a straw because I would slobber and drip if I drank from a cup. My eye couldn't blink either so it felt dry and would run non stop. When I spoke, I had trouble speaking, eating and had terrible vertigo caused by the ear infection. I could not drive for over 3 weeks. Did I mention this is all on the same side as my tumor removal? I still have not regained all of my feeling from that surgery so the feelings and sensation were ALL WRONG and very unsettling. The lesson: GET THE SHINGLES VACCINE, PEOPLE! Save yourself from the misery!
The point of all of this is I now have lots of life experience walking around looking like a hideous monster outside of the Hallowe'en season. As horrible as some as these injuries were, none were bad enough for me to hide until I was completely healed. I had to work, to buy groceries and live my life. The experiences of walking around, showing the world your shame, has helped build character and self esteem. My advice...trip on toys. Get hit by a baseball bat. trip and land on your nose. Remove all tumors from your neck. Wear the eyepatch when your face is paralyzed. It might make you a better person.
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