Time for some real talk here people!!
Thanks to COVID 19 I have been on lockdown since mid March and unemployed since April 1st. I'm bored as heck and really tired of being poor but I am terrified to return to work. I am in desperate need of income (EI is simply not enough) and desperate need of human interaction (I might be turning feral) BUT one BIG issue has me in a serious state of anxiety....I have lost the ability to hold in farts.
For 4 months I have been solo. Alone. One. Just little ol' me. I have not had any need to make use of my sphincter muscles AT ALL, and thereby losing that muscle. It has been amazing! No more tummy rumbles. No gastrointestinal discomfort. Nothing! I let 'er rip whenever and wherever the need arises. My sphincter is so relaxed, I don't even make noise anymore. It has been very liberating I must say. No thought is required. There is no shame. There is no fear. There is only peace. The experience is truly life changing! If given a similar opportunity, try it!
One cannot discuss flatulence without discussing poop. (Well, I can't anyway). Time to admit that my bowels are WAY off their regular schedule. Every day is different from the last. Will it wake me at 5am or come at 7pm after eating a 3rd after dinner dessert? While on lockdown, this is a non-issue, but I can't have surprise poop attacks while on a road trip to Port Alberni!!! Thoughts like this are keeping me awake at night and causing anxiety. To those of you that are thinking "Well, if you revert to your sleep and meal schedule that you had pre-coronavirus this wouldn't be an issue, Tricia". My reply is "Who wakes up at 6am if they don't have to, WEIRDO!" Why would I not sleep in and eat whenever I want during quarantine?? It is LITERALLY the best part about the Lockdown Lifestyle that I am living.
In the end, I guess I want to let my fellow shut-ins know that I feel your pain. When we all return to our new "Normal" lives, please know that if I catch you passing gas with zero class, I solemnly swear to not judge your ass! The struggle is real and some of us need time to build up our butt muscles again after months of quarantine. Can we all agree to just ignore these little social faux pas? A toot is not the worst thing ever.
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